| Rank |
Quote |
Rate |
| 1 | "I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big." - Zach Braff on fame |   |
| 2 | "I mean, they lost both parents. That's just careless." - Zach Braff on orphans | |
| 3 | "It's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know." - Zach Braff on the holocaust | |
| 4 | "I mean, I'm a writer, actor, AND director. Not to rock the boat or anything, but compare that to a carpenter and, in the end, who is the better man?" - Zach Braff on Jesus | |
| 5 | "I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people." - Zach Braff on reality shows. | |
| 6 | "Well, at least I'm ok." - Zach Braff on 9/11 | |
| 7 | "I'm not being insensitive, but maybe Steve Irwin started it. Not like he can say otherwise now." - Zach Braff on Steve Irwin | |
| 8 | "I wouldn't say I'm bigger than Jesus. If I had to guess, I'd say probably, yeah, but as far as I know, the bible is never clear on this." - Zach Braff on the size of his penis | |
| 9 | "No, I'm not sorry. If a hooker has to die for me to get an erection, then, shit, a hooker has to die." - Zach Braff on dating and relationships | |
| 10 | "I could sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating." - Zach Braff on his fame. | |
| 11 | "I think slavery was an awful, awful period in our history, but when I look at what's become of black culture since emancipation, I think you have to admit, maybe the Confederacy was on to something" - Zach Braff | |
| 12 | "I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves." - Zach Braff on Black history month | |
| 13 | "For me, acting in scenes with other people is like playing soccer with a bunch of legless five year olds. It's not really fair to them, but what else can I do, you know? " - Zach Braff on co-stars | |
| 14 | "If God wanted women to be treated equally to men, he'd have given them penises." - Zach Braff on Women | |
| 15 | "But I'm alive." - Zach Braff on Friedrich Nietzsche | |
| 16 | "Finding out that McGinley's kid is a retard." - Zach Braff on his favorite Christmas gift | |
| 17 | "That Hugh Laurie show is nothing but Scrubs fan fiction." - Zach Braff on House | |
| 18 | "I never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them." - Zach Braff on pedophilia | |
| 19 | "Is 'Garden State' the next 'Citizen Kane'? Of course not. I'd like to think we aimed a little higher than that, frankly." - Zach Braff | |
| 20 | "I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport." - Zach Braff on Homosexuals | |
| 21 | "I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away." - Zach Braff on adoption | |
| 22 | "Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of killing unwanted babies, it's just that the idea of letting women make a decision doesn't sit well with me." - Zach Braff on abortion. | |
| 23 | "My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients." - Zach Braff on Chuck Norris | |
| 24 | "I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else." - Zach Braff on Racism | |
| 25 | "Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven." - Zach Braff | |