| Quote |
Rate |
| "The other day I thought that I saw a vision of God talking to me saying, "That is one beautiful man." Then I realized I was just looking in the mirror. I then masturbated." - Zach Braff on Religion |   |
| "I went there to promote Garden State. I don't understand why the even bothered with it though, it's not like their brains can even comprehend the deeper meaning of the film. I mean, Christ, they can't even speak English." - Zach Braff on France | |
| "People keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was." - Zach Braff on Hitler | |
| "Why are all the troops bitching about not having body armor and dying and stuff? I mean, I've played Call of Duty 4 on veteran, and I even beat that part where you have to carry your deadbeat captain for half the level. I mean, you gotta imagine I would be the greatest military leader. I just have skill some people don't." - Zach Braff on the war in Iraq | |
| "...but the funniest part was when I dropped the smelting pot, spilling molten silver all over my teacher. It cost me my apprenticeship, but the scarring it left him with was hilarious. And besides, I then knew what I wanted to do for the rest of my adult life. Slapstick comedy." - Zach Braff on his entry into the world of comedy | |
| "If global warming is such a bad thing, then why is it taking out all of mankind's competitors? It just seems to me that the less species are out there, killing all our Caribou, the better." - Zach Braff on climate change | |
| "Come on guys, I mean, 'Why so serious?' I can say 'Why so serious', and no one screams and claps for me! It's not even grammatically correct. If he were smart at all, he would have made it "Why are you acting so seriously?"
Thats just the kind of small creative adjustment I make when I do a movie." - Zach Braff on Heath Ledger | |
| "I'm not an hour late. You guys were just an hour early." - Zach Braff on time | |
| "I've recently recieved hundreds of subpeonas regarding my numerous one night stands with fans. I maintain that there's no way it could be rape. Come on, It's me." - Zach Braff | |
| "To make a long story short, it died relatively quickly once it was placed in the dumpster." - Zach Braff on his illegitimate child | |
| "smack a kid in the face with no more tears johnson's shampoo " - Zach Braff on irony | |
| "It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?'
That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough" - Zach Braff on his co-stars | |
| "Hey, I don't have any opinions on that, but I will say this, it was an important enough situation that an entirely new disease was created specicically to be spread around their community." - Zach Braff on Homosexuality | |
| "It's trust issue more than anything. I mean, whats stopping them from teaming up, dressing up like a really tall person in a trenchcoat, and then BAM. They sneak out with all your furniture" - Zach Braff on hating midgets | |
| "I dunno. I kinda liked Free Willy." - Zach Braff on Hilary | |
| "What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke." - Zach Braff on being arrested. | |
| "Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter" - Zach Braff on Furniture | |
| "I was bullied in school by a guy called steve, he was real mean. So i had him killed, so whos laughing now....not him, he's dead" - Zach Braff on Dog rearing | |
| "They were originally going to call it the Braff, and inside every box it'd just be an autograph with some of my hair. It turns out kids didn't really like it, but kids are idiots and that's why they're in schools." - Zach Braff on the Nintendo Wii | |
| "I'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?" - Zach Braff on child pornography | |
| "If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me." - Zach Braff on careers | |
| "I couldn't use the bathroom without them." - Zach Braff on hundred dollar bills | |
| "My nose is way bigger than his is, where's my cereal brand?" - Zach Braff on Toucan Sam | |
| "I don't see what the big deal is, he had millions of Jews under his control and what did he do? Go swimming and wander the desert? I would've started a law firm, so he's kind of an idiot." - Zach Braff on Moses | |
| "I helped Sarah Chalke invent the phrase bend over backwards, it was a fun night" - Zach Braff on sodomy | |